Recently I encountered some life situations that brought me face-to-face with some old, deep, unconscious energy patterns and beliefs from which I had been operating for (too) many years. It was emotionally painful and tremendously healing to (1) become aware of them, (2) see and feel them for what they were, (3) see and feel the lie that they had been based on, and (4) find, feel, and commit to new life-giving truth and integrity from which to live my life. With some skillful help, this process dissolved them from being “real” in my life.
In doing so, I cleared those old energy patterns and beliefs out of my internal “operating system” to allow for an “upgrade”. As a result, I have more energy, clarity, freedom, connection with myself, integration, inspiration, access to other ideas, a deeper understanding about co-creating with Spirit, and a deeper commitment to a more authentic, soul-based purpose for my life. It was well worth the pain and discomfort, I say!!! Wouldn’t you?
I’m not the only one having this kind of experience. In her Dec. 16, 2022 blog, Sarah McCrum writes:
“We are in the middle of a great sifting. You may experience that many old thoughts, habits and ways of being are leaving you very quickly. It feels like you can't go back to those ways ever again, even though you may have relied on them for many years until very recently. It can be disorientating if you don't know what's going on. “Some people are experiencing thoughts that sound like, "I can't go on any more," or "I don't want to keep going like this anymore." These aren't signs that you are having suicidal thoughts. They are parts of you that no longer have currency in your life. They are telling the truth about themselves. They really can't go on any more. It may feel sad, as if you're losing a very familiar part of yourself. You are, but this is part of the great sifting. “We are in a period of very rapid evolution. There is a lot of new energy coming into the energy field of earth, which is upgrading us. If you don't recognise this, it can feel as if you have no idea which way is forwards and which way is backwards. Familiar ways of being and acting are increasingly feeling irrelevant or simply don't work anymore, but you may not yet know how to replace them with new ways.”
The danger here is the automatic reaction of jumping in and trying to “fix” the “problem” with the usual mental/intellectual model to produce external “answers”. Doing so will only short-circuit the actual transformation process of creating and birthing and will give you the “same old, same old”, unfulfilling, deadening experience. This is not “Seven steps to ______” (you fill in the blank). Instead, this requires a shift in consciousness with new perspectives and perceptions.
The headline on a recent article said, “Caught in pandemic limbo? Here's how to rebound from life's interruptions”. This process and experience we’re having is not about “rebounding” from life’s “interruptions”! This is Life expressing itself. The only thing it “interrupts” is our ego-mind’s linear assumptions (and perhaps arrogance?) that we have the “answers” about how things “are” or “should be”.
Laura Storm says, “How do we lead as Regenerative leaders? By not having all (or any!) of the answers!” In Holding Space for Emergence, she reflects on how "Regenerative Leadership asks for something that is unusual and sometimes uncomfortable . . . that is, not having all of the answers. How do you surrender to not knowing? How can we accept that the process of becoming a Regenerator is not one of learning a 10-step formula? How can we hold space for emergence and avoid watering down the essence of regeneration?" It’s based on living systems principles, which are organic and whole systems instead of reductionistic. This transformational process is one that we each have to do ourselves, and yet we can’t do it all by ourselves. It takes no small amount of courage to make this passage and the right kind of support is critical in holding space for the emergence of new, real life.
This reminds me of one of my favorite quotes from Anais Nin: “And the day came when the risk it took to stay tight inside the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” And as Brene’ Brown said: “Faith is a place of mystery, where we find the courage to believe in what we cannot see and the strength to let go of our fear of uncertainty.”
This is what I went through recently, and this was not my first time making the passage through this territory! Each time I’ve been deepened and enlivened, emerged feeling more real, integrated, and authentic. I believe we’re individually and collectively all facing the invitation, or perhaps even the demand, from Life/Spirit/Source/the Universe to do this now. I know there is a much fuller, richer life of well-being for all that’s available on the other side of this passage.
I have glimpses of some potential life-giving purposes and possibilities for this post-pandemic “limbo” or liminal space, which I’ll share in my next blog.
Any comments about this post? Please send me a message through my website, Cultural Butterfly Project.