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Cultural Butterfly

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Shedding an identity, embodying more aliveness

Writer's picture: elaine@elainecornick.comelaine@elainecornick.com

Shedding and releasing in order to grow

 

Can you sense the powerful liminality of this time we’re in? It’s the “betwixt and between”, in-between time. It’s not what was and not yet what’s going to be.

 

In this “betwixt and between” time, what identity(ies) are we shedding, or need to shed, or have the chance to shed?

 

Because of the major breakdowns, destruction and disasters of all kinds, this time is ripe with the openings and energy to have new life, new identities, and new worlds appear, possibly in very surprising and unexpected ways or forms.

 

However, as Gretchen Schmelzer says,

Growth isn't always about gaining more teachings, lessons, or wisdom. What's equally important is being able to release what no longer serves. . . . it's like going through the eye of the needle. What is meant to come with you and what isn't? . . .  

 

“There are parts of us that should come with us in to the future. And there are parts we must leave behind. Even identities that have helped us, or maybe even especially the identities that have helped us: These identities helped us get here, but often they hold us back from getting to where we want or need to go. . .

 

“It’s so hard to let go of that part of us that helped us survive. . . .change is not just about moving forward, it is also about what you need to leave behind.” (Emphasis mine)

 

For myself, I’m aware of a strong inner pull to expand, to be “bigger”, to be and hold more substance, and be “put to good use” in deeper, stronger service to Life.

 

I’m aware of a part of me that has been playing small, hiding out, contracting. It has felt “good” and safe. Now it’s feeling too constricted, like it’s “not me.”

 

I’ve been aware of trying to “wiggle out of it” for some time. It needs to be shed like a snake’s old skin or a butterfly’s chrysalis. Am I ready to shed it, let it go? I think so . . . and yet . . . It feels safe, secure, familiar, comfortable in some way.

 

And yet . . . now I sense how it’s no longer safe or secure. In fact, I can feel a way in which it has become the opposite--that it will not only not protect me but will actually expose me to danger by keeping me disconnected from and obstructing my accessing my inner deeper/higher Truth.

 

I feel, taste, and am energized by the deep, real, new aliveness, energy, connection, and Truth I feel as I begin to embody the new beingness.

 

Back and forth, back and forth . . .  

 

I’ve been stepping into a different beingness, a different identity, going back and forth between the old and new, trying out the new, retreating back into the old one that’s familiar and comfortable (at least in some way).  

 

It’s a developmental process, not a “one-and-done” time. It’s like a new-born colt trying out its new wobbly legs, getting stronger and more confident, then falling down, then getting back up again, or a human baby trying out standing up and walking, then falling down and crawling.

 

Back and forth, back and forth . . .

 

I’m aware of a very strong tendency, an almost desperate urge to try to “manage” it, to control it, to focus on my desired outcome to help me feel safer, to feel like I’m in control.

 

You know. . . it’s our usual way of deciding what our goal is, then designing, planning, organizing, and working to make that happen. That’s the linear, masculine process of building something in the service of what I want. It’s very important and effective in the appropriate situations.

 

This is different. I would call this birthing-- loving, honoring, and respecting the sacred sovereignty of this new beingness, and embracing it as something I’m in service to and in co-creative partnership with. 

 

This is the non-linear, organic, feminine process--very important, necessary, and powerful. It’s typically not well recognized or correctly understood in our Western culture.

 

That’s a serious blind spot for us because the masculine process doesn’t, and can’t, work where the feminine is required. As the saying goes, “it takes nine months to have a baby no matter how many men you put on the job.”

 

Gretchen also says this process of transforming from the “me-that-I-was” to the “me-that-I’m-becoming” requires being held, witnessed, and supported in trusted/trusting relationship:

“Growth requires us to be in a space that is neither here nor there—it a space where you often don’t know—where you need the conversation—where you need to contradict yourself, in order to find out what you do know, what you need to learn. You need to be able to hold both parts of yourself at once, and in order to do that, someone needs to hold you.”

 

To me, this means being held by someone who is comfortable with the unknown, who doesn’t try to “fix” you or your discomfort or the confusion, and who doesn’t try to advise, direct, or instruct you about what’s going on and what you “should” do about it.

 

It’s someone who knows and holds space for the higher, deeper Truth of you as the “butterfly” you are, as you work to wiggle free and emerge from your chrysalis and embody your new identity. In my experience, it all the difference in this process!

 

What keeps me moving “forward” with this process? It’s the irresistible experience of the deep, real, new aliveness, energy, connection, and Truth I feel as I begin to embody the new beingness.

 

I sense myself beginning to more consciously partner and co-create with my Soul/Spirit, deepen my trust and surrender, develop my discernment about what’s mine and not mine to do at a given moment, increase my willingness and skill to act on that, and go at the speed of Life instead of the speed of light. And I’m learning and doing this on my very “wobbly legs”.

 

This is requiring me to become, and be, “bigger” than I have been—an identity shift and deeper surrender to Soul/Spirit/Source—in order to “own” or steward, hold, and be this consciousness.


As I see it, we are all collectively and culturally going through the same process. 

 

So, in this “betwixt and between” time, what identity(ies) are you (and we) shedding, or need to shed, or have the chance to shed?

 

Where or how do you (and all of us) need to be held, listened to, and heard to be supported through this?

 

I’d love to hear how this sounds or lands with you!

 

And if you’re in a similar process and would like some support around it, I’d love to explore that with you.

 

 You can email me and let me know.

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